Is having therapy selfish?

“I feel so self indulgent when I come to therapy sessions, even though I know it really helps me.”

If you’re having therapy, you may have had this feeling too. That spending time looking at yourself can feel self-indulgent or selfish.

I know I have felt this when attending workshops or therapy sessions. Although I have hugely benefitted from and grown lots through them, at times I felt guilty about spending so much time on myself.

This feeling of guilt may well arise from not feeling good about ourselves in the first place. We are often taught to put ourselves last, to cope quietly or to be useful rather than well. The guilt may even keep you stuck, unwell or disconnected from yourself and life. Or our emotional well-being may not seem so important.

What would be the cost of not having therapy?

Richard told me how he didn’t feel confident to talk in team meetings, he felt like an imposter, even though he had a wealth of knowledge and great insights to share.

Isabel shared that she felt stressed and overwhelmed and by the time she came home she felt short fused with her partner and kids.

If this is familiar to you, imagine you’re coming home after work and you’re enjoying being home with your partner and kids instead. You can speak up in work meetings and your input is valued.

What would this be like for you?

If you feel like the passenger in your own life, what would it be like to be in the drivers seat?

Wider benefits

As you can see above, having therapy doesn’t just benefit you, it also has a positive impact on all areas of your life.

When we are stressed, burned out, or traumatised, we are often caught up in surviving. We won’t have the capacity to think well about ourselves or the people around us. We may not feel equipped to take action, even small ones.

Or we may burn ourselves out because we only look after others.

You may not become an eco warrior or be politically active, but you are making a difference for yourself and others you come into contact with. This is what the world needs.